em_jay

This year, we had sun for Christmas, a rare commodity in December Portland. The kids snoozed, or messed around and played video games. We kept our jammies on and watched Dexter all day. Ideal!

Last year was a different story. Last year, it looked like this outside:


I took that photo on Christmas day, during Snowpocalypse '08. Those of you who don't reside in the northwest will never be able to grasp the unbridled amazement that was unleashed during that fateful Christmas season. We don't get much snow around here, and when we do it comes in the form of an inch or two of powdery dusting, or maybe a day of slush that slows down the commute. Real snow? It freaks us out.



We had real snow last year. The news stations were abuzz with 24-hour updates. Business closures and event cancellations crawled across the bottom of the screen. Under the snow was a layer of ice. The roads were impassable.



We left the cars in the driveway and resigned ourselves to the fact that we were housebound. At one point, the decision was made to resort to cannibalism... the children were weighed and checked for fat content. A marinade was prepared. As I was rummaging in the shed, looking for the chainsaw, it dawned on me that we could probably just walk to the grocery store. Lives were saved.



Truth be told, Portland shuts down under the lightest of weather conditions. What we had here would probably be NOTHING to people in snow zones. Someone from the east coast would probably be in shorts and a tshirt, sipping a pina colada. Or, you know, at least driving their car. We were too daunted. They say that Portland has one snow plow, and they share it with Seattle. Seattle must have gotten first crack at the plow, because the roads stayed bad for a while. The cars stayed in the driveway. We prayed for some kind of break.

When it finally melted, we found the mailman on the front lawn, still holding some Christmas cards. All of the neighbors had been airlifted out by the National Guard, so we ate their food and took everything that was left under the tree.

Frosty melted. I was glad... he was annoying.

Life truly returned to normal when it started raining again. And, it didn't stop until a couple of days ago. And now it's sunny for Christmas.

Crazy.


(This is a "free" entry for LJ Idol. Your mileage may vary. Void where prohibited by law. Discontinue use if rash develops. Tip your servers and try the veal. Go placidly amid the noise and haste. Enjoy)

Go check out this thread full of love for all kinds of LJ people. I added Sandi and now I'm going to go back and comment about other people I know. Very awesome. You'll see some names you recognize, for sure.

Thanks, shadowwolf13... very cool idea.

Hey, as you may know, I'm in the LJ Idol thang this time around.

Time has come for the latest round of voting, right here.

And, really, there's some great reading in there, so go check out some of the other stuff.

My entry is here, in case I didn't flaunt it in your face enough when I posted it the first time. :)

Another vacation day. I may post a few times. :)

And here is the track listing for my happy Christmas cd... just in case you guys wanted to make one too :)

1. The Chipmunks - The Christmas Song
2. Barenaked Ladies - Green Christmas
3. Mary J. Blige - Someday at Christmas
4. Lee Ann Womack - The man with the bag
5. Jimmy Eat World - Last Christmas
6. ...that feed the world song by Bandaid
7. Transsiberian Orchiestra - Wizards in Winter
8. U2 - Christmastime
9. Rob Thomas - New York City Christmas
10. The Raveonettes - The Christmas Song
11. John and Yoko - Happy Christmas (war is over)
12. Brenda Lee - Rocking around the Christmas tree
13. Bing Crosby - Marshmellow world
14. Jason Mraz - Winter Wonderland
15. Mamacita donde esta Santa Claus.
16. Bing Crosby - Mele Kalikimaka
17. Porky Pig - Blue Christmas

Totally digging on the Christmas spirit...
I have my Happy Christmas cd playing,
Both trees are lit and the presents wrapped,
And I'm looking forward to Friday!

So basically, because I work retail, all my time has been spent over there... which is why I haven't been on here.

So to make up for my absence... Here is my Top 10 books read this year!

1. On the Beach by Nevil Shute
2. The Jukebox Queen of Malta by Zibby Oneal
3. The Sun Grows Cold by Howard Berk
4. Beloved by Toni Morrison
5. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
6. Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison
7. The Blind Assassin by Margaret Atwood
8. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
9. Damion by Herman Hesse
10. The Illustrated Man by Ray Bradbury

–noun
1. a depraved, unprincipled, or wicked person: a drunken reprobate.
2. a person rejected by God and beyond hope of salvation.

I was at a party a while back, drinking a civilized drink, carrying on a civilized conversation with a civilized guy. Our haircuts, short, similar. Slacks, shirts with buttons. The room was festooned with candles, little snacks, linen. Civilized music tinkled gently from a civilized little iPod. The evening meandered slowly past, like a river of molasses, nowhere to go. No one had a sense of urgency. No one looked like they were going to throw up, strip off their top, or do a keg stand.

Fuck, I miss good parties.

What the hell happened to me? When did I start sipping drinks instead of pounding them down voraciously, as if the magic drink fountain was about to run dry and I wanted to suck out every drop of life-giving alcohol? When did fat railroad tracks of sparkling white cocaine being snorted out of tender innocent young cleavage become a nibble at a Trader Joe's mini-quiche?

Somewhere inside me is crouched my old self, long-haired, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, PE shorts and no underwear, a bong in one hand, a bottle of Wild Turkey in the other. There's a hit of LSD in the pocket. I explained to someone a while back that we used to go to concerts with scores of joints taped to our legs to avoid detection while being frisked. What good is a concert if you don't have enough to share with your row? Do they still have laser light shows? Has that been supplanted by something civilized, like a guy in a tuxedo waving flashlights around? Do people still puke at concerts? How you can throw a good concert without someone losing their evening's intake of Boone's Farm? Is there any chance that someone reading this was privileged enough to attend the Blue Oyster Cult tour when they supposedly fried some poor kid's eyeballs with their lasers? Did the kid stick around for "Don't Fear the Reaper" because he was just starting to peak? Did any of this ever happen?

Nostalgia is a dangerous game, best left to people over fifty who still have parts of their memory intact. Left to amateurs, nostalgia kills. The trick is to remember that none of that stuff was probably anywhere near as fun as it seemed. Who else but an old person can look back at barfing and passing out in front of the Lake Tahoe Denny's at 7 AM after a night of debauched drinking and think that it was FUN? Who else can remember a psychedelic mushroom-addled encounter with the local police and think it was funny? And, did my friend really think that the cop said "what are you wearing" and not "what are you doing?" Did he really tell the cop that "my pants are black, my shoes are white, and my shirt is a vivid blue?"

I have good money here that says that that shit HAPPENED. At least, to the best of my recollection.

This was, as you may have guessed, written for therealljidol. It's all true, unless you are looking to besmirch my professional standing. In that case, it's all lies.

I am not at all surprised.....

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